You have something....

The morning is cold and white, crisp and reassuring.  Seems like nobody else is awake yet, and nobody can see me yet, a safe feeling.  Walking past stores that are not yet open, windows with blinds closed, shades drawn like closed eyelids.  My feet are soft on the ground in my treetorn sneakers, the required footwear of teens in the 1980's in this upscale wealthy suburb.  I feel every crack on the sidewalk, every bump and stone is reassuring, it is the same as it was yesterday.  I shrug along in my giant packpack, dreading the day ahead, hoping it will bring nothing of note.  I dress so as not to be noticed, wearing the same jeans as yesterday, one of three I own.  Up from behind me walks a classmate, not a friend but friendly enough.  "You have a sock hanging out of your pants," she says, not unkindly.  Dammit, I knew it, not matter how hard I try I just can't seem to dress right, and someone has noticed.  I act casual, ripping out the sock from my pants leg and tucking it into my coat pocket.  I keep acting like that all through high school, like being inadvertantly humiliated just doesn't bother me at all.